Friends are an essential part of our lives. We need them at every stage. Is is very easy to make friends but to maintain friendship is the most difficult task to do. If you think that you will have strong bonding with someone without any issue then its just a fairy tale. You develop friendship with someone, the conflicts will occur definitely.
The other day, i had a conflict with my friend Jenny. I disclosed some things in front of the entire group. Jenny had only told me about those things and i didnt know that so i keep on joking about it in front of all. Now, obviously she was very pissed at me. I tried to avoid the confrontation by i realized that it was the only method to save my 5 year friendship with her. So i talk it out and problem was solved. You should do every effort to resolve the conflicts with your friend and save the friendship.
Reasons Behind Conflicts
To resolve any conflict, it is very important to know the actual reason behind it. Following are some common possibilities:
- Poor communication
- Lack of respect
- Different principles
- Having a bad day
- Fluctuating emotions
Whenever you got in a conflict with your friend, dont avoid the situation. Instead try to resolve it. Following are some tips that will definitely help you out:
Talk About the Conflict
Don’t run from the situation instead face it manfully. Mistakes can be done by all. So you should discuss about the conflict as soon as possible after it happens. Don’t delay the big talk as it will only exaggerate the problem and give other people time to make the condition worse.
Describe the Problem
If you are having a problem with your friend then describe the issue to him directly. Don’t talk about here and there or don’t talk in a vague manner. Instead make your point clear by describing the whole scenario and pointing out their mistake and admitting yours too.
Choose Suitable Mean of Contact
Your friend might get double hyper after reading your excuses and sorry in text messages or emails etc. Choose a proper communication means. Visit him and talk to him about the issue directly face to face. It will increase your chance to resolve your conflict with your friend.
Don’t Discuss the Conflict in Public
Talk to your friend in person. Dont make it a public issue so that every person keeps on murmuring about it. Directly talk to the person with whom you are having an issue without the interference of others. Third party will only make the situation worse.
Don’t keep on uttering your views only instead hear your friend too. Sometimes all a person needs is a listening ear to which he can explain all his troubles. So listen to his issues too. Don’t keep on forcing your solutions on him and know when to speak and when to listen.
Do the Real Talk Only
Avoid creating baseless drama and stay focused on the issue. If you have done something wrong, simply admit it and if your friend is guilty them make him realize by your logic. Just stay in the moment and don’t bring up the past mistakes of him.
Understand Your Friend’s Perspective
Wherever the discussion goes, just keep on reminding yourself that your friend is a different person. Every person has his own school of thoughts and behave differently under different circumstances. So try to understand his perspective as well. May be he is behaving awkwardly because he has a sensitive nature or he is impulsive etc.
Be the First One to Say Sorry
Whether it is your fault or not, be the first one to say sorry. Just say that ”I am sorry I offended you” or” I am sorry I made you feel that way”. If your message is honest and genuine, your friend will definitely respond in a positive way and your conflict will be resolved.
After explaining your point of view, you should give space to your friend. Do not keep on speaking the same things. Instead, when the situation becomes heated up, walk away and give your friend time to think about the conflict alone.
Let it go Mutually
After all of the discussion, if the problem still persists, the just request your friend that we should let it go. Make him realize that it is more important to save your friendship than to keep on arguing over this stupid conflict. If you have a strong bonding then he will definitely agree to you.
Don’t be Over Emotional
Don’t be too much emotional while discussing about the conflict. Emotions will make your sense of judgement fade away.You will not be able to think rationally and may take a wrong desicion. So control your emotions and be practical while resolving a conflict with your friend.
Discuss Solution Not Problem
After discussing your issue, talk about the possible solutions and avoid the problems. Infact think about some possible solutions before the big talk so that you can easily explain them to your friend. You should also discuss that whether these solutions can solve the conflict effectively or not.
If you are having a trouble with your bestie then it can cause serious consequences. It will destroy you both physically and mentally. In teens, it can cause failure at school, withdrawl from studies and avoidance of fun activities. There are other side effects too like anxiety, depression, loss of trust, avoidance from friendship and other relations etc. So you should try to resolve the conflicts with your friends as there is nothing more precious than finding a true friend. Your life will become so dry if there will be no friends to share your happiness with.