Being a parent demands a lot of patience and management skills. They have to deal with the changing behavior of children. Sometimes it become very challenging to handle the kids specially when they become disrespectful. Disrespectful children or teens can show bad manners in many forms like eye-rolling, backtalk, insulting behavior, name calling, swearing, taunting comments, sarcasm etc. You think that you are doing perfect as a parent but your child’s behavior changes everything. Like one of my friends at work, Ann told me about his son Mark’s changed attitude:
Ann: How’s your monthly project going on?
Mark: Why are you always spying on me? Don’t you trust me? You always keep on questioning. I always get good grades but you never become happy.
Ann: What are you saying? i was just asking so i could help you with it.
Mark: Sure you were! like i don’t know you! …. mumbling.
Yeah you guys will be shocked because it sounds familiar? Doesn’t it? As a parent, it must be very painful to face such situations with your disrespectful child. But don’t worry you are not alone in this issue and there is a solution to every problem. Here are some ways that will definitely help you out:
Reasons for Disrespectful Behavior
If you want to make your disrespectful child a better person then you should first identify the real problem going on. Like,
1. It could simply be hormones. You child might going into adolescence and hormones messes with child’s mind at such age.
2. He/She could be going through some tough time at school like difficulty in studying etc.
3. He/She could be getting bullied by some guys at school or facing harassment.
4. He/She could be thinking he/she is an adult and now he/she should not listen to parents anymore.
5. Your bad relationship with your spouse might disturbing him/her and making disrespectful.
6. He/She must be getting irritated by increasing restrictions at home.
7. He/She could be irritating you to get your attention.
Handling Disrespectful Children and Teens
Some very useful Tips for handling Disrespectful children or teens are mentioned below :
I know it seems impossible to stay calm when your child is being rude in front of you. But trust me its a great method to cool off the things. Your instant anger will only make the situation worse. So take a deep breath and don’t feed your child’s disrespectful behavior with your anger.
Make your child feel that you completely understand his point of view. His anger is justified too but being rude is wrong. Like tell him that “I know its hard to sneak out from the party when its so much fun but..” or “I know it looks unfair to you but you cant …”. Don’t agree to their behavior but they must know that you are with them.
Let it Go, Sometimes
You don’t have to lecture every time. Sometimes just let it go and understand that your child’s disobedience is because he is tired or hungry etc. Or specially when you cant control your anger and sarcasm. Later, when things cool down just talk to him that things will not work this way.
Decode their Behavior
Try to understand the actual reason behind the behavior of Disrespectful Children. Sometimes children become angry because being angry is much easier than to explain your feelings. So they avoid the talk and show disrespectful behavior just to annoy you. Just talk peacefully to them and their response will show you their true feelings.
Explain the Consequences
If your child’s behavior is not getting better at all then you should explain the consequences of their behavior to them. Also you should set only those punishments which will definitely be accomplished by you. If you inform them about the consequences and do nothing , they will be rude again and again because they knew that nothing will happen.
Set Ground Rules
Just gather a family meeting and set some ground rules with the help of all the members like behavior at home or TV hours etc. Now when they get disrespectful, just remind them that they are violating the rules made by themselves. It will leave a positive impact on them that they cant break the ground rules.
Be a Role Model
When you are in front of your children, just act in a way you want them to behave with you. Be respectful and gentle. Never be rude to your partner and act as a role model in front of your child.
Be a Teacher & Coach
Its your duty to be a mentor for your child. Train them how to handle stress and anger. Also how to be obedient and respectful to their elders. You should also set limits when they do something wrong. In this way you will become more effective parent and may gradually fix the attitude of Disrespectful Children.
Don’t take it Personally
If your child is behaving disrespectfully, don’t take it personally. Sometimes their anger is a consequence of some other issue and they behave rudely because of that problem. It has nothing to do with you.So understand it and try to sought out their real problem. In this way, their bad behavior will automatically be settled.
Keep an Eye
You must know the types of communication your child is exposed too. Also you should be well informed about his fun activities outside. Maybe his bad behavior is due to some negative program he must be watching or he is in the company of bad friends.
The main goal as parents should be to make your children able to survive in the real world. You should train them how to communicate and deal with other people. They should be emotionally strong and peaceful to survive. I know its very difficult to handle these issues along with all other responsibilities but you should be determined to make your child a responsible adult. I hope this article has helped you out, in dealing with Disrespectful Children and Teens.